long reaction

Well I thought I had written a post yesterday, but apparently it was not posted here. I wonder where it went.
It's been awhile since I've had time to write a decent post, as I was gone from Wednesday to yesterday, which was sunday afternoon. Not having access to a computer honestly was great. I've realized one of the reasons I am struggling so hard with this class is because I don't want to learn this. I realize the benefits, and values, and necessity of learning more about technology, and mastering it, to some extent....but understanding and accepting are two different things.

I'm going to discuss a bit about my reaction to the book, and also my personal viewings on things, so hopefully this will count as a reading response and a personal post at the same time.

I have had such a hard time getting through the book- smart mobs. I hate it. I look at it, I open it up, I find where I left off, and if I manage to get through more than a few pages in a decently long amount of time, the relief I feel when I close that book, when I can't tolerate any more, is more extensive than it probably should be. I really do not like that book. I see the letters, I understand the meaning of what it's saying, but nothing gets through. I realize that I start to skim, and that I'm not retaining anything. I try to get something out of what I'm trying to read, I try to make posts on the little that I've managed to understand or retain, and write a reaction. But not only is it not good enough for me, the process is so difficult. I don't think I've really ever had such a hard time with a book. I can't find anything inside of me or that book that make me want to read it, except for the fact that I'd rather not fail completely. I don't like "technology" to begin with- the only part that I can relate to, and would not be willing to give up is Microsoft Word. For all that I'm good at communicating through AIM, it's not because I like computers. It's because I'm better with words. And sure, the ease of it helps me out. But would I give up the internet and go back to having to page through the dictionary or thesaurus if I had the choice? Not for a second would I hesitate.
But that's neither here nor there about the "reading response" I'm trying to give. I'm supposed to pick something in the book or chapter I found interesting, and respond about it? To be honest, I keep finding that impossible. I get so much more information about what I've been trying to read by reading people's posts than I get out of this damn book. The only thing that could make this book worse would for it to be online. And then I couldn't even give a damn, because that's just a lost cause for me.
I follow almost no parts of this book, and as I said, I get a lot more out of reading other people's posts than reading the book itself. I haven't had a chance to make my podcast audio reaction to the book yet, but I've been thinking about it for days now. I haven't had a chance to even listen to other people's but I might just not listen to them until I've recorded my own. I have a feeling that listening to other people, who are able to conceive and understand and respond intelligently to this book that I'm having so much difficulty getting through will overwhelm me into thinking I can't do it. My podcast may not be like other people's (when it gets done, when I manage to figure out how to create it and what to say in it) but I think I'm okay with that. it'll probably havea lot less "informative" points and more "personal reaction" to the book, but hey, I'll do what i can.
Although I haven't finished the readings for Smart mobs just yet, I've started to try to read Snow Crash. First off, although this book is really weird, it is so so soooo much better than Smart Mobs. I'm a bit confused by the change of scenes, after he crashed his car, and the introduction to Metaverse, but I didn't dwell on it, because I wasn;t sure if it was important. There are a lot of parts I've already underlined because they struck me as interesting. The idea of a world, a viewable, realistic, rentable! world is obviously not original but nonetheless ingenious. I actually sort of love it, in a way. What better way to conserve space, be enviromentally beneficial, and still maintain the normalcies of this "modern life", what with the economy and ratrace determination. The idea that a company would have to go through all the processes demanded now, in "real" life, that they would have to go through the same drudgery...I mean, personally, I'd hate it, but as far as a company would go, it would satisfy them fully, I'm sure. There would be no question of legality, or if the proper processes had been met. So far, that above everything else I've read has struck me as the most satrical but most interesting. The character himself doesn't hold much interest to me currently, but that's just because I haven't read enough. Thankfully, this book is much easier for me to handle.
This is a long post, and I'm sure it could be longer, but I'll save it for another one, that way I meet the criteria for this class.