insane in the membrane...?

well i don't have much time to post, but i'd like to get in a little bit while i can, as the beach is calling and the sun is shining...oh lovely florida.
so as i've chilling on the beach, i picked up my notebook and "a whole new mind", and started reading, and taking some notes. This book is really really cool. At first i couldn't tell if it was actually first person, with the wires and MRI experience, but as the book went on, it was just so interesting. I really enjoy reading about the reality of our minds, and our bodies in relation to everyday life and how we interpret the world and our brains. I haven't gotten very far but there was a few things that stood out to me- that humanity still considers the left side of the brain- the analytical, caculated side- the side that makes us human.
So, as things proceed as they always do, I happened to overhear someone on the beach talking about some tribes or people in another culture. The only part I really remember was them saying "But they're just existing, they arent using their human potential at all" and that really struck me because... who's to say that "just existing" is not using human potential. I understood what the person was saying, but... i'm curious as to exploring what they mean more deeply.
The idea of "human potential" as a part of the brain and body that is supposed to be used....makes it sound like we have a tool that we just aren't using- is that what we consider the brain? Does our knowledge and ability to think make us human, or is it more human just "merely existing"? I haven't gotten very far on the reading, as I've actually been caught up in trying to write down notes and some key/interesting terms and phrases and ideas I have on the topics dis ussed, but I'm really excited to see where the book goes. It seems like a perfect blend between smart mobs (boo) and snow crash-- one is interesting and fictional, and the other is boring and factual. (okay maybe not boring to some but BLAND). this seems interesting and factual, and I can't wait to learn more about our brains and where the future is taking us in terms of learning more.

hm all right

Well, i've not had much to say the past few days, but i've got a few good thoughts i'm planning on expanding on sooner than later, hopefully. I got to see my parents and sister this weekend. The 4 of us havent been together at the same time for longer than a few hours in a pretty long time, and in that time we (me and my sister, me and my mother, my mother and my sister) primarily communicate through AIM. and my father talks to me and my sister through emails primarily, and can use AIM but prefers not to. (i haven't yet had time to ask why this is, but don't worry, I will sooner than later).
So this is the first time i see them face to face after weeks of talking via computer (well phone too, but not as often or as lengthily). It was interesting to me on a few levels. The first thing i noticed (and always have noticed, but due to my keen attention, was declared officially) is that we all act the same- we get mad at the same things online- unlike many people i know, we say the same things on the computer as we do in real life. That's always been something i couldnt understand- why do people talk differently? Anyway, so then i also noticed that since we had kept in touch, we were all entirely updated on each other's lives and doings. Maybe a bit less intimately, as we weren't physically present.-- I realize i've said this before, but i also said that i knew it was going to be repeated, as it is a fact that always strikes me strongly--. This just continually draws my attention back to the fact that we now have another completely viable way of keeping part in someone else's life, in a "distant" manner.
The other thing that was interesting to me was I got to talk to my parents, particularly my father, whom i discuss this class with a lot. So i told him of the goings on in class, and how it's changing how i see things: like how i notice all the differences in the way our entirely lives change, everywhere. You don't even realize it, but the vast amount of things that change, particularly expectations, but since the computer has become the incredible tool that it is, it infiltrates every part of our lives. Honestly, the dependency scares me- but thats another whole posting or even essay. When i spoke to my father, he called me out on something. He asked me what i meant when i said "virtual". What made something virtual? He said he was under the belief that if he is sending an email, he is not virtually communicating with me- it is directly what he is saying. I found it difficult to explain. What is virtual? What defines- or who- defines what is grasped as virtual. I plan on doing a class posting asking that question, and i also plan on continuing telling my observations of how much the world has changed with the developing technology without jus even realizing it.... but later.

neovox

so, i just finished up my neovox article...and i have a feeling it's totally not what was asked for. I started out writing about the involvement of technology in children's lives, and how it shocked me, and then continued on just talking about my own personal interaction with electronics, sort of. A bit more formal than that, but all the same, i don't have a topic like "ipods" or "second life" (whatever that is, i'll read and find out i'm sure)... but i just feel like so much of what i do is not "intelligent" the way that it's desired. Granted, it is part of my style i guess, but that doesnt make me feel better when my writing is general and almost.. childish i guess, simply understood by most people, and i see other people's pieces and I'm just not formal or professional or wordy like them. I'm interested in seeing what other people wrote, definitely, currently just a bit un-self-esteemed about my piece. I mean, i like it, but I also feel like i'm just repeating so many statements that i've already said. i've started to feel that way about everything i say in this course... its frustrating and i mean, my opinions are changing but they are also still somewhat remaining the same. Oh well. Figured I'd post some of my reactionary thoughts about the assignment

okay

Okay, so I've been really trying to keep up on my readings of Snow Crash.
This book is so much better than Smart Mobs- I know I've said that before, but every time i read more, it re-strikes me. I feel like even though there are times that I'm not entirely sure why something is happening, I know that it will have a purpose and its intention of existing will be explained in short time. I spoke to one of my peers about it- she had read it when she was younger, and had said she really enjoyed it, but felt it was sort of a cop-out, which didn't surprise me that much. I had been wondering how Stephenson was going to maintain all of the different aspects of the book that he created- there are a lot of them. I'm most interested to see how the situation with YT's involvement with the Mafia will turn out, because if i remember correctly, Hiro also was involved in the Mafia, although obviously not closely enough to retain the headhonch's dogtags from Vietnam. I'm also interested to see how Da5id ends up, and if there is any solution to his crash. I thought it was a very good twist on Stephenson's part to have it physically incapacitate him as well as completely demolishing his Metaverse aspect.
I felt the explanations about Sumerians and the whole history "lesson" was a bit long-windeded, although i do understand it was somewhat necessary. I don't know how else Stephenson could have gone about explaining all that information, although i feel that if it had been somehow broken up a bit, it would have been easier to take in and retain.
I'm getting more absorbed in this novel than i have, due to the fact that not only a lot of my classes are semi-involved in the same sort of examination of the "evolution" of technology, communication, and writing, but also because of the fact that I personally experienced a situation this weekend at raquette lake that involved no speaking, more than 5 people, in the same room, in the same chatroom- and no actual vocalization. That's an experience I'm sure I'll delve into later. Might be an interesting neovox article. Gotta get on that.

nice

So I guess this'll be my personal blog post, or whatever it is we're calling the informal postings. This class is getting much better. I'm much more able and comfortable with the postings- maybe because i'm able to understand and am not struggling to make myself get thru the readings- i'm able to think about different topics and interrelate them to this class and what we're doing here. I'm concluding that the 3 of my most involved classes are all intertwined- evolution of writing, writing in cyberspace, and marxist philosophy. the philosophy class is a bit of.. i'd say a challenge. not that its difficult, but figuring out what i know, how i can connect information to make sense. It's fun but its hard.
I still haven't done my podcast and i just realized that i can "keep meaning to" all i want but i just have to go and do it. I'm trying to figure out how i want to say it. I'm like a week past my "extension" due date and i know that but I just have to go do it and thats it. It's not so much a matter of capability anymore its more of a just actively going out and finishing it, but then im like.. well what am i going to say. But i won't be able to figure out exactly what i want to say until I do it. so yea. I'll probably get a bit of a lower grade due to lateness, but i'm okay with that as long as i get it done and sound somewhat intelligent. I enjoyed the post about what this class is about that dr. reid posted today. About how the point of this class is to struggle, and that is how we learn and also how he helps us teach ourselves- by allowing us to struggle. It's something I realized a while ago, and its really true and makes things easier when you know that it's expected.
I'm just getting a big of a rush here, what with my sudden return of interest in my studies. It happens every year about a week after swimming ends, but as time goes on, i realize that it is stronger and stronger each time it comes back. I have so much to do and write and think about and speculate on and learn and relearn, and understand- and i have that on the academic and person levels in so many aspects of my life, its a big hard to hold onto all at once. I like it, but it's just me trying to figure out my balancing act out for awhile i guess. but i've gotten such a better grasp on everything- i just hope i keep ahold of that, and don't let it slip.

So I've been asked to discuss, or at least try to, about my feelings on why we take this course, PWR 209, its purposes, intentions, reasoning behind it, and also to explain why I feel the way i do about technology.

I've said before that we are "made" to take this course, for all that I wish we didnt. I use the word make but I also understand why it is enforced that we learn these skills that we are (apparently, supposedly, hopefully) learning. The world is changing, and I understand that- although the extent of how much it has changed and will change, and is still currently changing, scares the hell out of me. Scares might not be the most accurate word, but it's the closest. As we see from aim, and the books we've been reading, communication is transforming. We don't have to wait to see people to talk to them, wait for the post to come to get letters, wait for film to be developed to see pictures we just took. It's all immediately done. We can talk by phones, get letters by email, and then there's all that digital craziness; everything is at this incredibly high speed. It scares me because I can't even fathom how fast things are moving, how fast technology just caught us and sped us along into the future. A lot of what it is that repels me from technology is I don't see this new technology as being necessary. The only thing I need is a word processor. I've grown to embrace some other aspects of the computer, and this "digital" era, but I don't find them necessary. I love aim because I'm better at expressing myself through words- being a writing major and all- but I don't need it. My favorite part of being away from my house, or away from "real life" is not having access to a computer. I think this might be part of my upbringing.
I grew up in a house that, I now realize, has different values and interests than others. The thing is, i still think that it's normal. I didn;'t have a television from 1997 to 2007. That's ten years. That's a pretty long time. It broke, and my mother decided we didn't need to get a new one. We had a computer- we didn't need a tv. So after awhile, I realized I really didn't need a tv. Even when I watch television, even now, i sit there with a book. That way I can transfer back and forth to whichever interests me more. I don't get really excited about new technology, because i guess I'm easily satisfied, if not beyond satisfied with what i'ev got. I'm big on nature, a lot more than I realized. And I could be fully satisfied without any of this "technology" even including cell phones, as long as I have a way to write. I don't think that it's "technology" I hate- not the old technology, anyway. It's the development of technology I don't see as necessary. Pens and pencils are necessary. Medication is necessary- but thats a perfect example. We're trying all these new cures, new tools- without knowing what their future represcussions will be. And mybe we aren't risking our bodies, like with medicine- but we are risking our society, the way it functions, and the way that we communicate. And that scares me.
But alas, I think the purpose of this class it to show that writing is changing. Authors might someday be expected to instead of writing the book and publishing it on paper, to publish certain parts of it, whatever they've got, drafts or whatever, online. They will be expected to keep journals, and update their readers on whats going on. Part of this new era of communications is the demands from others to be accessible. We don' t like things we can't have immediately, andI can bet that there will be contracts with publishing companies (and new publishing companies will be established- soley online), where the writer has to agree to provide intallments or a certain amount of writing posted online weekly, or whatever the agreement is. In order for a writer to function, and actually still get their work read, one has to understand how to use the technology. It;'s not just useful in writing though- it's also for life. This class is showing us how quickly communication and technology are moving, and trying to get us at least on the general boat in the right direction to understand how and why it' happening, and how to function in our society with it. For all that I fight these changes, I do understand why they are necessary in "real" life. But I have a feeling that my fight is not with technology, but with the acceptance that technology is "real" life.

long reaction

Well I thought I had written a post yesterday, but apparently it was not posted here. I wonder where it went.
It's been awhile since I've had time to write a decent post, as I was gone from Wednesday to yesterday, which was sunday afternoon. Not having access to a computer honestly was great. I've realized one of the reasons I am struggling so hard with this class is because I don't want to learn this. I realize the benefits, and values, and necessity of learning more about technology, and mastering it, to some extent....but understanding and accepting are two different things.

I'm going to discuss a bit about my reaction to the book, and also my personal viewings on things, so hopefully this will count as a reading response and a personal post at the same time.

I have had such a hard time getting through the book- smart mobs. I hate it. I look at it, I open it up, I find where I left off, and if I manage to get through more than a few pages in a decently long amount of time, the relief I feel when I close that book, when I can't tolerate any more, is more extensive than it probably should be. I really do not like that book. I see the letters, I understand the meaning of what it's saying, but nothing gets through. I realize that I start to skim, and that I'm not retaining anything. I try to get something out of what I'm trying to read, I try to make posts on the little that I've managed to understand or retain, and write a reaction. But not only is it not good enough for me, the process is so difficult. I don't think I've really ever had such a hard time with a book. I can't find anything inside of me or that book that make me want to read it, except for the fact that I'd rather not fail completely. I don't like "technology" to begin with- the only part that I can relate to, and would not be willing to give up is Microsoft Word. For all that I'm good at communicating through AIM, it's not because I like computers. It's because I'm better with words. And sure, the ease of it helps me out. But would I give up the internet and go back to having to page through the dictionary or thesaurus if I had the choice? Not for a second would I hesitate.
But that's neither here nor there about the "reading response" I'm trying to give. I'm supposed to pick something in the book or chapter I found interesting, and respond about it? To be honest, I keep finding that impossible. I get so much more information about what I've been trying to read by reading people's posts than I get out of this damn book. The only thing that could make this book worse would for it to be online. And then I couldn't even give a damn, because that's just a lost cause for me.
I follow almost no parts of this book, and as I said, I get a lot more out of reading other people's posts than reading the book itself. I haven't had a chance to make my podcast audio reaction to the book yet, but I've been thinking about it for days now. I haven't had a chance to even listen to other people's but I might just not listen to them until I've recorded my own. I have a feeling that listening to other people, who are able to conceive and understand and respond intelligently to this book that I'm having so much difficulty getting through will overwhelm me into thinking I can't do it. My podcast may not be like other people's (when it gets done, when I manage to figure out how to create it and what to say in it) but I think I'm okay with that. it'll probably havea lot less "informative" points and more "personal reaction" to the book, but hey, I'll do what i can.
Although I haven't finished the readings for Smart mobs just yet, I've started to try to read Snow Crash. First off, although this book is really weird, it is so so soooo much better than Smart Mobs. I'm a bit confused by the change of scenes, after he crashed his car, and the introduction to Metaverse, but I didn't dwell on it, because I wasn;t sure if it was important. There are a lot of parts I've already underlined because they struck me as interesting. The idea of a world, a viewable, realistic, rentable! world is obviously not original but nonetheless ingenious. I actually sort of love it, in a way. What better way to conserve space, be enviromentally beneficial, and still maintain the normalcies of this "modern life", what with the economy and ratrace determination. The idea that a company would have to go through all the processes demanded now, in "real" life, that they would have to go through the same drudgery...I mean, personally, I'd hate it, but as far as a company would go, it would satisfy them fully, I'm sure. There would be no question of legality, or if the proper processes had been met. So far, that above everything else I've read has struck me as the most satrical but most interesting. The character himself doesn't hold much interest to me currently, but that's just because I haven't read enough. Thankfully, this book is much easier for me to handle.
This is a long post, and I'm sure it could be longer, but I'll save it for another one, that way I meet the criteria for this class.